Christian Leadership at Home

Christian Leadership at Home
Christian Leadership at Home

Christian Leadership at Home

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25 NIV).

Men have been appointed by God as the head of the home. I understand that many women find this troubling and the Bible is full of stories of courageous women that have served the body of Christ. The truth is that many men have done a terrible job of leading their house in any capacity, particularly spiritually. Many men are not even physically present in the home or if so, they do not recognize Jesus as their Lord and savior and will not even attend church on Sunday.

A real man should be a provider. He provides identify to his family. It is his responsibility to let children know that they belong.  As men, we love projects.  We love to build something and to be a part of something greater than ourselves.  Most men enjoy working with their hands and tend not be comfortable speaking to a group of strangers, especially about their faith.  We have many large tasks that we want to accomplish in life – pay off the mortgage, raise our children to love God and their neighbor, get promoted at work to get the coveted corner office, etc.  

A man who is also head of household gives direction and also serves as the spiritual head of the family.  A man should also be a protector. This is not simply physically protecting the family from harm, but also setting boundaries to safeguard the family from evil. The man is the professor of the family. He professes over the family and professes his faith.  

He teaches life skills to his children on how to endure hardship and builds up their confidence.  A real man will teach his son how to respect and love women. A man is the priest of his house. He is called to be the spiritual leader in the family. The grandfather should always be the priest at a family fathering. This means leading the family in prayer, scripture and blessing his children and grandchildren.

A man who is also head of household gives direction and also serves as the spiritual head of the family. A man should also be a protector. This is not simply physically protecting the family from harm, but also setting boundaries to safeguard the family from evil. The man is the professor of the family. He professes over the family and professes his faith.  He teaches life skills to children on how to endure hardship and builds up their confidence.  A real man will teach his son how to respect and love women. A man is the priest of his house. He is called to be the spiritual leader in the family. The grandfather should always be the priest at a family fathering. This means leading the family in prayer, scripture and blessing his children and grandchildren.

St. Paul detailed his instructions for Christian households in Ephesians 5:21-33.

21 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

I feel that this scripture has often been taken out of context and has been used to make wives feel subordinate to women.  God has indeed appointed men as the head of the house but that does not make women subservient.  God and Jesus are equal but Jesus was subservient to the Father.  Recall when Jesus said, “yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).

God wants husbands to “love your wives as Christ loved the church.”  I had a woman tell me recently, “if my husband were to love me as Christ loved the church, then I could submit to that all day long.” What I heard from this woman is that her husband is not honoring her. Honor is critical for a marriage and it must be freely given by both.  Husbands must love their wives “as they love their own bodies.” A husband who is not loving his wife is not loving himself because upon marriage, “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” So, if your wife has a problem, you have a problem. If she needs love, you need love.

Marriage is a Holy Sacrament from God and every Christian marriage contains a husband, wife, and God. The husband must respect his wife but he must show her and his family that his primary responsibility is to God. When anything or anyone else becomes our primary focus, we are worshipping a false god and not adhering to the first Commandment in Exodus 20.

Husbands, you have been given much responsibility.  Recall the words of Luke 12:48,  “to whom much is given, much will be required.” You will be held accountable for your leadership of your house. In order to lead like Jesus, you must be a servant like Jesus.  A wife is to be honored, respected, and loved.  I want every husband when he joins the cloud of witnesses to be greeted by “well done good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).

Prayer:  Dear God, May we always love our wives as Christ loves His church. Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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Use Your Words to Build Up the Body of Christ

Use Your Words to Build Up the Body of Christ
Use Your Words to Build Up the Body of Christ

Use Your Words to Build Up the Body of Christ

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof” (Proverbs 18:21 KJV).

We all say things that we regret and wish we could take back. Our words will invariably hurt somebody’s feelings and cause pain. Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue; And they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”  The tongue is a symbol of life or death “Our words can be used to share the Good News with others or tear down the Body of Christ.

The Bible explains that what comes out of your mouth is simply what is in your mind, (Proverbs 12:18Proverbs 26:28).  James 3:5-6 explains the importance of the tongue:  “Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.  The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

The above passage spurred me to look inward.  I sometimes do a poor job of reflecting on Matthew 12:36 before I speak,  “But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.”

A better use of our words is described in Romans 4:17.  It says that God “speaks of future events with as much certainty as though they were already past.”  That’s called speaking in faith — you announce it in order to experience it. Your words reflect your faith, which is critical to a strong prayer life. Matthew 21:22 reads, “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

I admire people who have the spiritual gift of faith.  I certainly have faith in God and love Him with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind (Matthew 22:37). I want to tell it like it could be, like it ought to be and like I think God wants it to be. I get too easily frustrated and begin to lean on my own understanding and then wonder why my path is not straight. I do not particularly enjoy a ministry that ONLY “tells it like it is” about the world. There are a lot of things in the world that are bad. Clergy and laity that only focus on the problems and not the opportunities are negative and depressing. They are in the “tell-it-like-it-is” business.  This does nothing to build up The Body of Christ.  A better option is to tell it like it could be! This brings life and hope to people.

For example, you could say to someone, “You’re a lousy husband and you don’t spend enough time with your family.” However, any label — positive or negative — will reinforce the behavior.  I think a better option might be, “I see enormous potential in you. I urge you to let Jesus Christ into your heart and become the godly man that I know you can be.” That’s the kind of talk that builds up others and motivates change! Speak it in advance and speak it in faith!

Prayer:  Dear God, Help us to use words that build up the Body of Christ and bring honor and glory to You. Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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A Perversion of a Gift from God

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A Perversion of a Gift from God

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body”  (1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV).

A Perversion of a Gift from God

I recently heard an interview with Rev. Levi Lusco. He was discussing his new book “Swipe Right.” The dating app Tinder provides pictures and basic information that people “looking to date” have uploaded of themselves. If the user swipes to the left of a particular image, then that means he or she is not interested. However, if you swipe to the right, that means you are interested and if the other person does the same thing to your picture, you are very likely going to have sex with them very soon.

You may ask what does that have to do with pornography?  They both are feeding a desire for sex in an immoral manner. Sex is a gift from God and its value decreases when it is approached with such a nonchalant attitude.

Pornography can be as addicting as any drug. Studies have shown that it releases endorphins in the brain which make it “feel good” when in fact it is actually harmful to the body and soul. In reality, it is the fruit of the enemy. Every relationship comes with a moral commitment; this commitment is absent in the relationships of the flesh.

Mark 7:15 tells us: “Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” If you “feed” yourself with immorality, then what do you expect to come out of you? Christians are certainly not immune to pornography addition.  The same can be said for the clergy. Many of the millennial generations are products of divorced parents. They see no benefits of marriage and feed their desires through illicit relationships and pornography. Rev. Lusco stated that 1 out of 3 boys who are 13 years of age have a pornography problem. As men of the church, we must be the defenders of these young boys. We must explain to them why this behavior is harmful. The pleasure that they are feeling is not Godly and if they do get married later in life, they often report a less satisfying sex life, according to Rev. Lesko.

Do you recall the story in Genesis of Jacob and Esau? These were twin sons of Issac. Esau was the oldest by seconds and by right he held a higher position in the family. One day Esau returned to his brother, Jacob, and was famished from working in the fields. He begged his twin brother to give him some “red pottage” (stew). Jacob offered to give Esau a bowl of stew in exchange for his birthright (the right to be recognized as firstborn) and Esau agreed.

This is huge because the birthright has to do with the inheritance of both goods and positions. Esau acted impulsively, as he did not value his birthright over a bowl of lentil stew.  The lesson here is that your standards are low when your stomach is empty.  Esau gave into the desires of the flesh without thinking of the consequences.

Rev. Lusco advises that we do not overreact if we find our son or daughter looking at pornography. Do not shame them. Instead, calmly explain to them why this is wrong and why it is important to live in the Spirit rather than living in the flesh. My advice:  Keep your stomach full of Godly things and you will not have an appetite for impure things. Develop an accountability group of friends that form a barrier around you to keep the enemy out.

Prayer:  Dear God, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me”  (Psalm 51:10 KJV).

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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Stealing' Credit From God

Stealing’ Credit From God

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17 NIV).

As a young man I was proud of ‘my’ accomplishments. I worked hard, graduated, and got a job.   I bought a nice house and we had a nice summer vacation. I was proud of “my” accomplishments for the first 40 years of my life. “It was at this age that I was a pilgrim on the Walk to Emmaus and my eyes were opened to who I was and to Whom I belong. I still enjoyed my work, but I began to engage in a much more fulfilling work – helping to build God’s kingdom on earth.

The number 40 has special significance in the Bible. In the Old Testament, when God destroyed the Earth with water, He caused it to rain 40 days and 40 nights (Genesis 7:12). After Moses killed the Egyptian, he fled to Midian where he spent 40 years in the desert tending flocks (Acts 7:30). Moses was on Mount Sinai for 40 days and 40 nights (Exodus 24:18). Moses interceded on Israel’s behalf for 40 days and 40 nights (Deuteronomy 9:1825). The Israelites wandered for 40 years (Deuteronomy 8:2-5). In the New Testament, Jesus was tempted after fasting for 40 days (Matthew 4:2). There were 40 days between Jesus’ resurrection and ascension (Acts 1:3). There are other examples, but I don’t think God wants us to dwell on the number 40 or any other subliminal messages that some believe to be in the Bible.

I realize that all of us have been given fruits of the Spirit.  I was blessed by the opportunities I was presented with, and blessed with the ability to be successful in those opportunities; I now realize that all my blessings are from God. St. Paul instructs us in 1 Corinthians 1:4-5: “I always thank my God for you because of His grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in Him you have been enriched in every way — with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge.” I now realize that anything good I have accomplished has been because of His grace, and anything bad that I have done has been because I have lived in the flesh and not in the Spirit. The greatest blessing you can receive is to be a blessing to others. Apart from Christ, we are nothing. But through Him, all things are possible. So give credit where credit is due. Your accomplishments and mine are from the generous blessings of God.  Be thankful and be blessed.

Prayer:  Dear God, Forgive us when we claim credit for ourselves. Help us realize that every good and perfect gift is from Your hand. Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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