Who Is In Your Foxhole?

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24 NIV).

A few years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Coach Jeff Kisiah “Coach K” at an Iron Sharpens Iron men’s equipping conference.  He spoke about the importance of foxhole friends and the strength of a threefold cord (Ecclesiastes 4:12).  This man of God recently went on to Glory, but he left behind a legacy.  The basis for the annual, national conference is Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another.”

Men tend to forge on alone when times are tough, but we all need friends in our foxholes to help us in tough times.  For this to happen we need good relationships to develop good friends.  Good relationships don’t happen by accident. They take cultivation, work, and a lot of time. That requires commitment.

If you have the honor of being married, I hope your wife is your best friend.  In addition, men need other men in their lives.   In the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, he writes, “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.”  Men are warriors at heart, and there is strength in numbers.   Strong warriors that are seeking God’s face will have the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) to protect them in battle.

So, how do we form close relationships?  Every important, close connection begins with a commitment. If you want to get beyond shallow, superficial relationships, you’ve got to be willing to stick with it. “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24 NIV).  Close friends are like brothers.  They are dependable in good times and bad.  They build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Ephesians 6:18). 

Likewise, how do we avoid the trap of having acquaintances and not close friends?  Did you know that your socializing can keep you from having deep relationships? You can be so busy networking, contacting, and making acquaintances that you never invest the time and energy and effort it takes to cultivate the deep, satisfying intimacy of a good friend or a good spouse. 

It’s not wrong to have a lot of acquaintances, but they can keep you so busy that you don’t develop any vital, close relationships. You don’t need a lot of friends to make it in this world, but you do need a few good ones. Focus on quality, not quantity. Your acquaintances—your hundreds of Facebook “friends” and Instagram followers—aren’t necessarily going to be there when you need them. But the friends you are truly connected and committed to will be there and stick closer than a brother.  Your close friends will always be in your foxhole.  Rest in peace Coach K.

Prayer:  Dear God, Thank you for the blessing of having Godly men in our lives.  Please use them to speak truth to us and may be always be receptive to the truth.  Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

We welcome your comments below.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Thank you for visiting. We trust that you have enjoyed reading our articles.

Liked this post?

Read more below or search for more topics...

  • Happy Memories from Bad Experiences

    Happy Memories from Bad Experiences “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God”  (Philippians 1:3 NLT). I love the encouragement found in the book of Philippians.  One of the reasons Paul wrote this book was to thank the church at Philippi for their help.  He writes, “I thank God for the help you gave me” (Philippians 1:5).  He also wrote, “no church entered into partnership with me in giving and receiving, except you only” (Philippians 4:15); “Even in Thessalonica you sent me help for my needs once and again” (Philippians 4:16).    The generosity of the Philippians to Paul compelled him...
  • What is Truth?

    What is Truth? "Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6 NIV).In today’s society there is a constant battle over the truth.  I wonder how can something so simple as the truth be so difficult to understand and agree upon.  Facts are disputed, alternative facts are presented, and various groups all claim to have the truth regarding any issue: social, financial, medical, and even spiritual.You will never grow closer to Christ unless you understand the truth. Growth requires truth.  We might disagree on how to best...
  • You Got Questions? So Does God!

    You Got Questions? So Does God! “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9).We all have questioned God when adversity or disappointment occurs.   I suspect we all excel at clearly telling God what we want.   How many times have you questioned God?  When will I get promoted?  Why did my good friend die?  Where am I going to live when I can no longer care for myself?  What does God want from me?   Who am I? A teacher encourages their students to learn.  Of the 90 times Jesus was directly addressed in the gospels, on 60 occasions He was addressed as “Teacher.” ...